Too Much And Not Enough - The Ultimate Millennial Struggle
Struggling To Find Direction In A Sea of Tasks
I’m writing this as a sit at my desk on a sunny Easter Saturday, with an endless list of tasks, to-dos and people-I-want-to-reconnect-withs - but I’m not quite sure where to start.
This all began when I started burning out. Balancing uni commitments alongside my extra-curricular activities were tough and so bouldering was my only escape from insanity…then I found two jobs. These two part-time jobs drove purpose in my life and offered me more lessons I have yet to learn as I build my professional working life, but the intensity of both ended up getting the better of me. And because of this, I’m now sick. It’s not because of uni or work pushing to get the most out of me, but rather my inability to know when to stop, reflect and develop a sustainable pace in the things that I do.
This past week resting at home has given me plenty of time and opportunity to reflect on how I have physically achieved so much, yet felt so little achievement in my life. A friend once told me it was time to move away from my “say yes to everything!“ mentality and focus on the few things I truly am passionate about, but my struggle lies within the endless choices that lie ahead of my future work career - I want to try it all. Being in final year is a lot rougher than I imagined. When applying for graduate opportunities, there are an endless number of opportunities but as someone who is a jack-of-all-trades you’re left there wondering what role or position you’d actually be really good at.
Though now in the midst of my graduate application chaos I realised I’m not known for anything in particular. I’m not ‘Matt the Designer‘ or ‘Matt the Startup Kid‘. I’m just ‘Matt the guys who does everything‘ and so know it has built a perception towards those around me that I don’t have time for them. In my pursuit of wanting to be a better, well-equipped individual I’ve lost sense of the things I cherish most, and now has left me in a position where I’m skidding around in circles unsure of where to start.
Headspace (the meditation app) has been my lifesaver and my anchor, reminding me to just sit still for a few minutes a day and reflect on what I want to achieve in the week ahead. I think today’s session in particular has brought out a sense of reflection and desire to re-direct my efforts before my commitments get the better of me. I’ve always been meaning to start a 30-day challenge to introduce positive habits into my life (ironic considering I’m building a product for design studio for something I have yet to achieve), and so I think it should start right here, right now.